How to Strengthen Your Relationship by Connecting More Securely

Relationship advice that is science-based? Yes, please!

Dr. Duana Welch is the original Love Factually author and coach, known for using social science to solve real-life relationship issues.

In this episode, Dr. Welch dives into some of the top issues couples struggle with and how her science-backed research helps individuals connect more securely in their relationships, whether they are already in a relationship or looking for a healthy one.

I have often heard the request for more podcast episodes about marriage, and this episode with Dr. Duana Welch is extremely eye-opening and helpful. Download and listen here or find wherever you get podcasts.

Key Topics:

How family of origin impacts adult relationships
What attachment style is and why it’s important to understand your attachment style at birth shapes your adulthood
How to become more secure in your relationship
The 4 Cs of a secure attacher
How to create deeper intimacy
How to pick what you need for a healthy relationship

Find more information about Dr. Welch at her website lovefactually.co.

Check out the relationship app Paired, where she is an expert.

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Top Brain Health Killers and How to Flip the Script

Five things will always sabotage your mental well-being:

Lack of sleep.
Lack of nutrients.
Lack of sunshine.
Lack of movement.
Lack of community.

I could leave it at that. It’s a whole post in itself.

But I want to flip this, because most of us know these things on some level. However, during times of stress, we often forget to take care of ourselves. We forget that we humans are basically just plants, and plants left without care will wither and die.

We were not designed to stay inside all day, blinking back at a screen with artificial light, head and neck perpetually tilted downward while the rest of our body is unmoving, eating food that is filled with hard-to-digest chemicals and additives, with a schedule so packed we don’t make time for people who are important to us.

Yes, I know that was a massive run-on sentence. It was exhausting (and convicting) typing it out.

Times of brief stress and opposition can be helpful for the body, but when we are continuously stressed, doggy-paddling up to the surface of the water all day long, we will start to feel side effects. It will impact our physical body’s health, and it will most definitely affect our brain’s health. It will cause us to be unable to make clear decisions, show empathy, and connect well with others – because we are in survival mode.

Our bodies are amazing at survival – that’s why you’re here. You’re here because your ancestors survived during difficult times. You gain weight after you diet because your ancestors were able to store weight during famine and not die. Your digestive discomfort is physical evidence that your body knows how to respond to mental stress and anxiety. Your blood sugar fluctuates in order to adapt to emotional stressors and physical stressors on your body. Your hormones are wacky, because duh, it’s never optimal to reproduce when there is a famine or threat to your safety (remember – your body doesn’t know the difference between a stressful job or a T rex chasing you). Even your afternoon fatigue that hits you like a load is a sign that you are overflowing with stress chemicals, and your body’s response system is working properly.

Your body is doing all the right things it is supposed to do. Your body is on your side.

Continue reading “Top Brain Health Killers and How to Flip the Script” →

Are You in a Relationship with a Narcissist?

This is the first “listener request” episode! Many listeners asked for an episode on the topic of dealing with narcissists, and this one is powerful! Download and listen here or get wherever you get podcasts.

Sandra Beck is an author, coach, speaker, radio, entrepreneur, philanthropist, and also an expert on narcissism. She has done countless trainings and written much on the subject.

Continue reading “Are You in a Relationship with a Narcissist?” →

Authentic Conversations and Communication in Marriage and Beyond

Can we truly have authentic conversations in today’s world? How can we navigate the ups and downs of relationships stress in a healthy way? How can we speak to one another in a way that is respectful and also gets heard?

Cathy Krafve is the host of Fireside Talk Radio and the author of two books, Marriage Conversations and The Well: The Art of Drawing Out Authentic Conversation.

In this episode of the Sparking Wholeness podcast, Cathy shares about her books and what she has learned about communication in marriage, friendships, parenting, social media, and more!

Continue reading “Authentic Conversations and Communication in Marriage and Beyond” →

How Relationships Impact Your Health

It’s February, the month of loooooove, so I can’t NOT talk about the importance of relationships to your overall well-being.

While loneliness is just as detrimental to your health as smoking, there are numerous studies showing that having healthy relationships increase your quality of life and longevity! Those with social support have better mental health, cardiovascular health, immune system function, and cognitive ability.

In fact, a study spanning eight decades of research at Harvard, proved that close social connections are better indicators of health and lonevity than anything else.

Our relationships with others are PRIMARY NUTRITION.

What you put inside your mouth may cause a temporary shift in your body’s digestive processes, but being in a stressful, unhealthy relationship – or being in isolation – can be a chronic stressor that causes permanent dysfunction to your entire body.

Why is that? I have a few thoughts.

When a body is in “fight or flight” mode from stress, it is impossible to access the prefrontal cortex in the brain to make clear decisions, show empathy, connect to others, regulate emotions, be open-minded, and control impulses. So for someone who is under chronic relationship stress, or under stress from isolation and loneliness, it is possible that they will struggle with making good choices when it comes to health and well-being. They will literally be in survival mode, taking the easy way out, time and time again, because their brain can’t offer any other solution.
Another possible reason stressful relationships wreck physical health is because it increases the amount of cortisol pumped into the bloodstream. Where there is cortisol imbalance, there is inflammation. Where there is inflammation, there is chronic disease and lack of health.
Stress destroys digestion. When digestion is altered, your body can’t utilize nutrients from food or restore bacterial balance in the gut, which is so needed for mental and physical health.

I encourage you to make the effort to strengthen the relationships you have.

Maybe that means seeing a marriage counselor, or finding an individual counselor for yourself to deal with your past hurts in relationships. Maybe you need to call up an old friend or schedule a dinner date with someone you care about but haven’t had time to see lately. If you’re married, plan an intentional date night (you know, something different than turning on Netflix after the kids go to bed).

Take time to nourish your relationships this month. Your health and theirs depend on it.

*If you are looking for a professional therapist to support your healing journey, check out Talkspace and use the code sparkingwholeness for $100 off your first month of therapy.