Mental Health Awareness Month – What I Learned About My Mental Health This Year

Breaking news for myself: I don’t need to pathologize my feelings. I can experience Big Feelings without having a mental health crisis. Experiencing feelings does not make me mentally unstable.

For so long, my feelings were scary. It wasn’t safe to feel them. While I have always enjoyed experiencing a wide range of emotions, from high school on, they met a list of symptoms on someone’s checklist. Hypomania? Categorized by racing thoughts, pressured speech, elation, high energy, increased goal-directed activity, distractibility, or talkativeness. Check. Depression? Categorized by fatigue, sadness, hopelessness, lethargy, too much sleep, tearfulness, feelings of worthlessness. Check. My real human emotions were analyzed and over-pathologized for so long–by me, by my parents, by the experts. It disrupted my life, and it made me feel shame for experiencing a wide range of emotions. So at some point, I stopped letting myself feel them. You know why? It’s easier not to feel than be worried your feelings are at the mercy of a brain, diagnosis, and prescriptions that are out of your control.

I created a disconnect between my body and brain. In some ways, I checked out of the experience of life. I activated autopilot mode. I cruised. This looked like packing my schedule and hyper-controlling my environment. I had routines that were predictable. I said yes to too much, so there was no room for thinking or feeling for too long. I planned for downtime, in case the overwhelm hit me. I stayed away from dramatic movies, series, or books. I didn’t want to be caught off guard. Sleep was a savior when life became too heavy.

I questioned every mood shift. Thankfully, my husband Richard pushed back on my questions. He reminded me, over and over again, that experiencing a wide range of emotions is okay–and is very human. It took me a long time to believe him.

Today, almost thirty years after I first experienced the darkness, I can use my feelings as a navigation system. They tell me where I need to re-adjust. They are alerts on the dashboard, indicating that it’s time to check in with myself.

If I’m feeling sad, overwhelmed, scattered, distracted, TOO energetic, or any other emotion that feels extreme, I ask myself what I need to feel regulated again. Sometimes, I check in with a feelings wheel (see below or click here). Simply identifying a feeling, naming it out loud, is like taking a big deep breath that’s been constricted in my chest for hours.

I do this often at the end of the day, usually as I verbally process with Richard, but sometimes as I pray myself to sleep. Saying the feeling normalizes the emotional wave driving the feeling, and then I can move on. When I don’t identify them, they build up. That’s when the dysregulation happens.

Now, hear me clearly: I’m not saying every time a person is experiencing depression or anxiety or a manic episode, it’s due to the fact that they can’t name their feelings. I get anxious when I eat a large cookie. My brain gets buzzed if I drink a too-sugary coffee drink. Alcoholic beverages can make me feel depressed and poorly impact my sleep. Skipping yoga too many times in a week can make me restless. There are very real physical triggers to my mood shifts, and I am constantly monitoring my responses to mood-altering substances like sugar, alcohol, gluten, dairy, and any overly processed standard American food.

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Five Things You Should Always Consume for Your Mental Health

It’s Mental Health Awareness Month, and I’m kicking things off with five of my favorite things we should all be consuming for better mental health. A few months ago, I shared five health imposters that harm our health, and I decided to expand on that list with the five things we need in this latest podcast episode. You can listen to the full episode or keep reading below.

Remember, your body needs to feel safe to heal and thrive. That’s true for emotional safety, and it’s absolutely true for physiological safety. Unfortunately, much of our modern lifestyle habits are keeping your body in an unsafe, stressed out state, including the food that is habitually consumed (or not consumed).

So I’ve rounded up a list of the five things that I believe everyone, everywhere should be consuming for improved mental function. There are so many more things I could add to the list, but these are some of the things that tend to be the most beneficial for my clients, as well as my own healing journey.

There is hope! I’m not here to make you more stressed or kill your joy.

Let’s talk about five things everyone everywhere should be consuming for their mental health:

1. Drink mostly water. Anything other than water is a treat. While I know many people, myself included, benefit from coffee or tea in the morning or mid-morning for some added focus and other benefits of caffeine, you should be drinking mostly water, most of the time. Get your body hooked on it. This may surprise you, but I haven’t had a soda in 9 years. Getting the option off the table did wonders for my mental health and my sugar cravings. I just stopped. I do occasionally have adult beverages, but I’m very sensitive to anything overly sweet, especially in mixed cocktails. Water is where it’s at. Hydration helps with focus, decreases anxiety, supports cellular health (which we need for brain communication), and helps with snacking in between meals.

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Root Causes of Adolescent Depression

A recent report from the CDC showed that three out of five teen girls shared they experienced persistent feelings of hopelessness in 2021.

While this statistic is staggering, I listen without batting an eye. Why?

I was one of the three.

I believe there are many things contributing to adolescent hopelessness, and while there are differences between the world of today and the world when I was diagnosed, the treatment options haven’t changed. The treatment options available in the 90s are the same being offered today, 30 years later: medication and therapy.

Unfortunately, those limited options are not treating the root of the issue, and in some cases, may make things worse.

I’ve created a list of contributing root causes to my depression, in hopes that it will help someone take a closer look at potential factors that are not being offered through traditional treatment. The information I share is widely studied and should be well-known, yet it is not.

And our teen girls continue to fall through the rabbit hole of darkness.

Common contributors to teen depression:

1. The oral birth control pill. I was prescribed this in 8th grade due to a heavy menstrual flow and anemia. Within a year I experienced debilitating depression, which is not uncommon, according to the research. The pill depletes B6, crucial for creating serotonin, supporting mitochondrial function, the methylation cycle, and maintaining the gaba/glutamate balance (which we need for calm feelings). The pill affects the gut microbiome, increases enhanced intestinal permeability, and because over 90% of serotonin is produced in the gut, this is another risk factor for depression. The pill depletes magnesium, which is needed for the gaba/glutamate balance, among so many other mood-benefiting needs. There are indeed a myriad of nutrient depletions occurring from oral contraceptives. Because the pill depletes the very things needed to counter hormonal issues and premenstrual stress, it is no surprise that a further imbalance occurred in my body, leading to depression symptoms. While for some people this may be a useful tool, ensuring there are enough nutrients available to make up for the lack is crucial.

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New Research on the Serotonin Theory of Depression – My Takeaways

The serotonin theory of depression has been extremely pervasive in how we discuss mental health, though no comprehensive review has ever fully broken down the relevant evidence.

At first glance, the selective serotonin reuptake inhibitor (SSRI) method of keeping serotonin in our synapses longer is pretty revolutionary.

But that’s assuming that an issue with serotonin at the brain level is what is causing depression.

Unfortunately, current research is showing that depression and mood issues are not simply related to serotonin alone. There are MANY other factors at play, chronic inflammation being a key role, along with other epigenetic drivers.

While over 77 million Americans are prescribed psychotropic drugs in the US (which is a number greater than any other developed country), with 45 million on antidepressants, we still have climbing rates of depression and anxiety, and prescriptions are being written for children as young as two.

A new systematic review and meta-analysis, published this week in Molecular Psychiatry, suggests that depression isn’t a chemical imbalance of serotonin or really anything to do with low serotonin at all.

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Mental Health Awareness Month: Special Podcast Episodes

This month, I’m taking a break from the regular podcast content to bring episodes focused on bringing awareness to all the tools that support our mental health. Contrary to what the media may tell you, you can change your brain. You can heal from mental illness. You can access resources beyond medication and more sleep, and many of those resources are free, like these episodes.

In Episode 135, I share my story of overcoming PTSD, depression, and bipolar disorder in a way I haven’t shared before.

Key Topics:

The growing epidemic of mental health issues in teens
The root causes to my own mental health issues and how I struggled to find treatment that supported my mental well-being
The medication weaning process and how I was able to get off medication I had been on for 18 years
The tools I used to support healing and how I continue to prioritize my mental health to prevent recurring issues

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Identifying Root Causes of Bipolar Disorder

I was diagnosed with bipolar disorder (what they then called “manic depressive illness”) in 1999. While the diagnosis matched the symptoms I was experiencing, the treatment I received never seemed to make things better… and they never treated the root of why I was struggling.

While I have shared about my personal experience with bipolar disorder, PTSD, and depression and I have interviewed many different experts who share ways to treat the root of chronic disease, I have never devoted the majority of an episode to bipolar disorder and its root causes.

Ellen Vora, MD received her B.A. from Yale University and attended Columbia University medical school. She’s a board-certified psychiatrist, medical acupuncturist, and yoga teacher. Dr. Vora takes a functional medicine approach to mental health—considering the whole person and addressing imbalance at the root, rather than reflexively prescribing medication. Dr. Vora’s book, The Anatomy of Anxiety, comes out in March 2022.

Recording this episode was personal for me. It helped me put together the puzzle pieces of my health even further. Download here or listen wherever you get podcasts.

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Yoga for Mental Health and Stress Resilience

Yoga isn’t just a “fitness trend.” There is so much data to support yoga as treatment for mental illness, trauma, and stress management.

In this episode, yoga instructor Luci Davis shares her love of yoga in a practical, helpful way! Download here or listen wherever you get podcasts.

Luci is the founder of “Pajama Yoga with Luci.” She began practicing yoga in 2006 following surgery and treatment for thyroid cancer. She believes yoga was integral to her recovery physically, mentally, and emotionally. Her motto is “practice with the body you have today.”

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Five Common Myths About Mental Health

As we continue to suffer from a growing epidemic of mental illness in this country, and creating awareness is trending, we must take time to re-evaluate the way we handle this mental health conversation. As renowned psychiatrist Dr. Daniel Amen often says, mental health outcomes haven’t changed since the 1950s. Treatment options appear to be limited, because while we have plenty of medications, cases are skyrocketing.

However, there are new discussions happening, and a growing number of practitioners are seeking to support mental health with tools that were previously brushed aside. In order to move forward in our thinking about mental health, we need to dispel the myths that are often perpetuated by antiquated mentality on the topic.

Warning: some of these will be tough pills to swallow (pun intended), but they are all backed by the latest research. Please drop me a line if anything is questionable to you or you need further clarification. I’d love to have a longer discussion on the topic.

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Top Brain Health Killers and How to Flip the Script

Five things will always sabotage your mental well-being:

Lack of sleep.
Lack of nutrients.
Lack of sunshine.
Lack of movement.
Lack of community.

I could leave it at that. It’s a whole post in itself.

But I want to flip this, because most of us know these things on some level. However, during times of stress, we often forget to take care of ourselves. We forget that we humans are basically just plants, and plants left without care will wither and die.

We were not designed to stay inside all day, blinking back at a screen with artificial light, head and neck perpetually tilted downward while the rest of our body is unmoving, eating food that is filled with hard-to-digest chemicals and additives, with a schedule so packed we don’t make time for people who are important to us.

Yes, I know that was a massive run-on sentence. It was exhausting (and convicting) typing it out.

Times of brief stress and opposition can be helpful for the body, but when we are continuously stressed, doggy-paddling up to the surface of the water all day long, we will start to feel side effects. It will impact our physical body’s health, and it will most definitely affect our brain’s health. It will cause us to be unable to make clear decisions, show empathy, and connect well with others – because we are in survival mode.

Our bodies are amazing at survival – that’s why you’re here. You’re here because your ancestors survived during difficult times. You gain weight after you diet because your ancestors were able to store weight during famine and not die. Your digestive discomfort is physical evidence that your body knows how to respond to mental stress and anxiety. Your blood sugar fluctuates in order to adapt to emotional stressors and physical stressors on your body. Your hormones are wacky, because duh, it’s never optimal to reproduce when there is a famine or threat to your safety (remember – your body doesn’t know the difference between a stressful job or a T rex chasing you). Even your afternoon fatigue that hits you like a load is a sign that you are overflowing with stress chemicals, and your body’s response system is working properly.

Your body is doing all the right things it is supposed to do. Your body is on your side.

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A Glimpse into the Mental Illness Memory Vault

“Sometimes I feel like being me takes up too much energy.” – me, 20 years ago.

In 2001, I started documenting my journey with what we then called “manic depressive illness,” after being unable to return to college with my friends due to my instability and frequent med changes. I forgot about the following journal pages, but they are so telling. I struggled with intense lows, wanting to leave this earth and end my pain, then I would experience shooting and soaring highs where I wanted to conquer every goal in a day.

Here are some of the entries:

8/27/01: “All I want to do is cry. I haven’t told my friends that I’m not coming back this quarter… What kind of trick are you playing on me, God? What lesson am I going to learn from this?“

9/5/01: “Sometimes I really do wonder if I should just end it all. I really do. Even when I’m stable, taking my 600 mg of Lithium, 100 mg of Topomax, and 25 mg and counting down of Zoloft (I’m hopeful that one day soon I’ll end this vicious charade with Zoloft).

What good am I doing here? What help am I to myself? Honestly? Why must I keep keeping on? Isn’t it ironic that the most inspiring thing I heard the other day came from the stupidest move, Joe Dirt. The main character, who lives a life of utter hopelessness, keeps quoting, ‘Life is a garden – dig it!’ I thought, that’s pretty inspiring. Unfortunately, I feel like any garden I’d be digging would only end up looking like weeds.“

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